Comin' home

[curt]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ua_ODg0FmzQ

soon

[waldopaper]

well i hope our man curt is being careful with that US piss-beer. unlike GOOD beer (the kind they drink in deutschland or the uk)... you tend to guzzle that weak-ass US shit... and then you get hammered... and then you get busted. Because der Polezi are EVERYWHERE and they aint there to "prevent crime," they're there to FUCK WITH YOU. And on "blue highways" (off the Interstates-- the only kind worth a shit if you're riding a motorcycle) they ESPECIALLY like to fuck with bikers.

I recall a 150 mile journey to visit a friend... where I decided to take the 2-lanes to avoid the insane 90mph 4-lane superslab "vacation" traffic... complete with boneheads towing boats behind SUVs at90 mph... which keeps the Interstate kops happier than pigs in poop and busier than a 1-legged man in a butt-kicking contest... i got stopped 4 times- count em- 4- for going 30mph in a 25mph zone. O course they just wanted to smell my breath and check my papers. BIG revenue for small towns busting drunks. They let me go with a warning... hrumph hrumph... after i groveled and apologized... obviously dead-bone sober.

sigh... it wasn't like that with my last farewell-to-40-years-of-bikerdom ride-around-the-block in me own freaking neighborhood. If all goes well, I'll be out of "the system" on July 11. POINT IS-- CURT-- BE FUCKING CAREFUL-- and watch out for der Polezi. ok- whap blap transition...

I killed a raccoon the other day. still in that city-boy mode where if you have to kill something... you use a "weapon." Well... ms. waldo was freaked out because something snarled at her while walking up the outside basement steps. The dogs and cats were freaking out... the raccoon was freaking out... and there was no way to flush that bugger out from under those steps. Rammin at him with a shovel produced more fearful snarls and hisses... and in the gloom behind the steps he looked about the size of a peach-basket with teeth. Shooting was out of the question because of concrete and ricochet. So here comes the trusty bow. Zing. Snarl thrash. Perfect shot- broadhead thru the neck. The fucker wouldn't die.

Eventully, he crawled out from under the steps, arrow thru the neck and all. He was really too fucked up to go anywhere. He just lay there... so i went down the steps with a hammer to do the final smack. Poor little fucker... just an adolescent raccoon... about the size of a kitty. And as I approached him... he kept on looking at me. No noise. Nothing. I couldn't stand that look. So I threw a rag over his head. THEN came the noise. THEN came the hammer. Three whacks. Creepy. Buried his poor little ass and said i was sorry. and it was only a stupid raccoon.

The bunrabs have split... dont know why. Mebbe cos Sid is chasin em... mebbe cos they know wot happened to Rocky. Firearms make it too easy to kill shit. Boom- down- nothing else. Even if it flops... you can hit it again and it's out. The hammer or the blade makes you feel the life-force struggle. Makes you think about it.

The corn is jumpin up... it's easy-peasy to grow corn here... or probably anyplace. Have yet to see how it mingles on the mound with the beans (aint even poked up yet) and squash... various kinds in various stages... sugar-pie punkins... several varieties of traditional- ie, acorn, etc... and my big hope- SWEET POTATOES. preparin some regular potatoes and gonna stick em in the raised 10x10 box. gotta tell ye... all this shit is REALLY fucking foreign to an old dude who expected to pass through life as a "knowledge worker."

Now... I aint EVEN begun to think about... suppose ye manage to grow all kinds of bullshit (which aint easy... but spose ye do)... THEN- how do you get that shit to last for 9 months... ie- put it up- preserve it- la la la- for the other-than-the three months ye cant just eat shit off the vine (assuming ye do it right)? And I shoulda skinned and ate that raccoon... but tell ye... and there wasn't 1/2 chikken's wortha meat on his poor little ass... and not enuff skin to make one fuckng glove... let alone a hat. maybe some earmuffs. but i dont know jack about skinnin and tannin. never mind about sewin.

i shoulda been able to look in his stoopid marsupial eyes and smashed his skull with the fukkin hammer. but i couldn't. readin too much into the look. "you comin to kill me, monkey?" well... of fucking course. we begun that process already, right? that's why they have hoods at executions. I so envy me Amish bros and sis... without "romanticizing" them in ANY WAY goddammit. Their "world view" is at best stupid and crude (to an academic dipwad "knowledge worker")... but they deal with this real shit every day. Maybe their Weltanschaung isn't as crude as I think. Never mind that.

CURT... WATCH OUT FOR POLEZI.

[Cal]

Jees Waldo ... I needed some serious cheering up this evening that the world is not as bad as I am thinking and that there is still space for all the other more beautiful than human critters .... your story has put me into decline along with reading about animals getting skinned alive in China for their pelts. Arrgghhh ... I do not belong on this planet .... will not mourn too greatly if the breast cancer recurs and puts me out of my misery. Although that would be rather a waste of a rather good plastic surgery job I just lived through. Are racoons a menace in your part of the world .... I always thought they were rather harmless & sweet .... that one sounded a bit lost .... couldn't you just have shooed him away to other less habited areas of the garden .... just asking .... I do that with my snakes here. Admittedly I am regarded as somewhat eccentric in that regard ....

[Mouse]

Oh dears, here are some beautiful clouds
and here is a rainbow.

[BO]

Durn it, Waldo. Now youz gone an scared the wimen foke.

An arrow through the neck and a few blows with a hammer. Wow. I couldn't have done that. But I'm sure my grandparents could have--being farmers and all--without thinking twice.

Sounds like a rite of passage. Maybe the gods are testing you now that you're a man of the dirt. I think you should have the head stuffed and mount it on the wall so as to remind the family about the day you saved their asses from the rabid raccoon.

[waldopaper]

Fess up Bo- whydja change that icon?? Givin an ol man turrible flashbacks, eh? Hey- I Shirley dont wanna be a scare-the-women-Fokker... but there was no shooin' that guy away... and ye can't be havin raccoons around where ye got corn... or ANYTHING you don't want gnawed and shat on. They'll scrap it out with a young fella like Sid (border collie mix)... who is still to young and doofus to go up against a critter that's playin fer keeps. kee-ripes. with all those hats we got in the 50s... im surprised there's ANY left... but there are. Me an the bow has zoinked several of em over the years here... along wit a coupla possum and a skunk. phew.

gor mate... go back to the Vonnegut drawing. brrrrrr....

[waldopaper]

oh and Cal... belay ye them morbid thinkins, will ye pleeeez? Hey- if EYE gotta stay around and watch this freak show... you does TOO. Da hole WOILD would be outta balance without our Southern Hem gal Cal. Sorry about bein so dark... but raccoons ARE a bother here. Now I dont mind em if they stay in the woods and bedevil the campers. Manys the time I had to jump and holler to gettem to humph and grumble away from my campsite (and we keeps the food in the locked-down cooler when we aint eatin it... and hoists it into a tree in bear country). But no messin with em there... because I'm on THEIR turf.

But they CAN'T hang around on mine. That's the deal. Just hopin we can peacefully coexist with the dominionist crackers.

[littleoldme]

True you have to be careful cause they some times have rabies but you did make me cry.
poor little thing.

[Cal]

Belaying the morbid thinkings but your post got me just after stumbling across some really gross stuff about skinning animals alive in China and I went to bed stating aloud that 'there is no god on the f*cking planet' ....Didn't get struck by lightening or anything so no one was listening obviously. Been painting my house all ready to sell and move off to Piet Retief in the middle of nowhere in the next few months. I will miss my permaculture garden and the next occupant will probably rip it all up. But fear not .... I will start another one at my next home. Got friend & two extra dogs to stay for the weekend ... it's comrades marathon weekend which means some thousands of slightly deviant individuals undertake to run the 90 km uphill from Durban to Pietermaritzburg on Sunday. I like to watch it on TV ... it's about the only time I do watch TV.

[littleoldme]

I like the middle of nowhere part. Wish I was middle of nowhere. The son has promised me a cabin in middle of no where Montana. I'm waitin'.

[Cal]

I like the middle of nowhere part too .... but this particular middle of nowhere doesn't seem to have broadbank internet coverage .... so I will miss you all !!

[Mouse]

I shall miss you, it's nice knowing you're there, rubbing elbows at the table in these wild and woolly times.

[littleoldme]

What's wrong with dial-up, you could still come visit, it would just make the trip alittle longer?