Who is here so far?

[waldopaper]

more gizmos (above) to put in your post. don't know yet if editing is an option. i may just end up being the maytag repairman out here in Fort Apache.

[waldopaper]

lom... you know how to GROW stuff. you might have to explain it to the "government." the SC mob is caught up in celebrity-cult people-magazine "politics..." they may as WELL be playing fucking bingo. they just can't bring themselves to admit that it's idle amusement. at least yer honest.
hey... check out The Dreamer... he's not the only one. cool links too. you can watch idocracy and say- woah- does life imitate art or what... speakin of... pan- i couldn't bring myself to admit those lines weren't that deep... but the Vulcan thing was a tie to ole volcanotacoma.

being "bitterly apolitical" is a kind of paradox... yeah i'm that allright... because what passes for "politics" these days is right out of idiocracy. moving abstractions into the real bread-and-butter world is what "politics" was/will be again... someday... but until then it's just celebrity bingo because there IS NO "political system." like The Dreamer seems to be gigged out about the 3rd worlders... yeh- i've seen em too... but they just jumped out of the cesspit and into the toilet... and they aint "grateful" for bein in the toilet... where the rich fatties plop directly on their heads and it's supposed to be "the american dream." i'd still shoot em if they tried to steal my fukkin car. but then... mebbe i should just let the fukkin thing go.

which reminds me... i gotta get downtown for my $30 probation piss test. nice and clean... if they can find ANYTHING thru all the meds i gotta eat so my valve won't freeze. or at least... that's what the pharma whores tell me. good luck with the gig, pan. wish't they was a groovy hippie college round here... still tryin to figger out how to moggle thru classes with my reading disability. half the time i dont even know where the fuck i am or what day it is... but i do a pretty good "normal" skinnin down the writing volume seems to be real popular with the stoods.

we ALL know we gettin fucked... we just don't know what to "DO" about it.

[littleoldme]

I used the link you provided and read this article, "Goblins Vs Christ Men -
The Coming Class Warfare?"
By Michael Goodspeed
Thunderbolts.info
12-11-7
What an interesting take on things. I really enjoyed it. Gosh, he sounds like my husband.
Thanks Waldo, as you can tell I was at the e-mail portion of my day.
No bingo yet today, I'm trying to hold off on my fix LOL.
I like growing things and I think they like me.
That will probably be my nitch , after the world crashes to a financial halt.

[curt]

I saw Mark jump on the train yesterday. Mark was a member of the first RBC station we had with DoubleHelix right after Smirking Chimp went downhill with a major purge. Mark and I have been on-line friends for ages now. We've had our ups, downs, ins and outs so if you wanna know more about me, just ask Mark.

Welcome back, Mark. Good to have you with us. Waldo thinks you're brilliant. Shows ya what good a diploma is, HA !

[Mouse]

Hello there my friends. I probably haven't said half so much as I thought I said to you over the last few months, how ever long it's been, and I don't tell you a portion of what I should, because I've been very cautious about the truth of my experiences in my society. In effect I am protecting bullies and incompetents and cynics.

But coming out and telling the truth terrifies me, because nearly everyone has got their tentacles joined up and it seems that pension funds and suchlike always play some part in the vested interest a person has, be they teacher, doctor, bureaucrat, student, artist, shop assistant (oh thank you God for the patience and good manners of shop assistants, my confidants, lost in the miasma of prosopagnosia, face blindness, which delivers horrible or beautiful shocks from time to time because of its other side. Everything has got sides to it.

Going to just go for it today, forgive me if I ramble. Here, have a cup of coffee.

I've got other blind spots too I think, large areas that I've tried to understand and simply don't, because they don't make sense. Like money, that's one. And now there's another, public service.
I suppose those are two major blind spots where I cannot understand the rationale at all.

Mind you all difficulties provide their own insights, and perhaps the story I'm trying to tell will communicate particular insights gained from my own viewpoint, which is something I don't think I've ever disclosed, nor want to. My position, status, circumstances are such that provoke anger and contempt in the society to which I belong. However this same society provided a roof over my head, sufficient warmth and enough to eat too until recently. Clothes all getting rather baggy due to price rises over the last few months. Mind you cooking for small one again some days, she's back, so may increase personal insulation before winter.

I also suspect that few people ever listen to a word I say, or consider me sufficiently sane or relevant. The world I live in seems to others to be very different from their's. In this country, England, there are a lot of deluded people who believe that the establishment that sustains them is the City of London, the monarchy, the government and civil service.

They don't know that a sense of decency was something taken reasonably for granted once.

Consider this, oh I have to get ready. Very slow person, wish I could be more use, have to leave in an hour and that will take some doing, getting out that door is a major preoccupation when I have to do it. Going down the garden also takes creative approaches. Want to tell you about the meeting last night, and what I've done, oh god what have I done?

Thunderstorm, must go offline, joined dots, I've put a link to here from my website which means, oh dear, and another link from oh dear...

[littleoldme]

Dear Mouse, out with it! No one here is going to eat you alive. Hell, these people were my lifeline for almost a year before, they can be trusted, from one who knows. By the way, loved the coffee, what brand was it?

[waldopaper]

Have I mentioned lately how much i HATE these motherfuckers? It's not a figure of speech... or even describing an "emotion." It's an actual real physical thing that boils up from my guts like battery acid and tells me to do something... well... uh... "irresponsible." Hey- we're all aware of the fucking whack "culture," but this is something wicked.

So many of me wee spiders are now being funneled into a "Criminal Justice" degree (oxymoron/paradox- but never mind that). Bless their sweet young pointy heads, they are now being trained to be Hitler Jungend... and nobody even tries to cover it up... they are learning "factoids" so they can work the prisons, deathcamps, and qualify to be those hated fucks next to the APC who deserve no less than an RPG round in the face. The thought of dapping one o me wee spiders makes me weep. But I WILL get my quota of AT LEAST two.

And there's a very good chance that even couched rattling on the net will get me a 500-page blab like Phil Ochs (I should only BE so honored)... and would get drunker and crazier and hang meself if only it did not interfere with me quota: and I WILL honor that... ich swore bei Gott. The Malthusian Dice-Cutters have arrived in your neighborhood Maus. At least they are tweeting about the real "problem" instead of hiding behind riot gear and their "jobs" pretending that their "Company's" .50 cal will prevent them from being shanked-thru-the-head with a rusty broken screwdriver on their way to "work.

So unhealthy... so un-zen-like... to want to toss a surprise into the middle of these fucks.

[pan]

"Yes, pepper spray does sting, real bad."

[Mouse]

I am really feeling the tension at the moment.
Two of the people I love closely, they have played a monumental part in my lives, and I feel very close to them as to family. One is planning to go to Ramallah for some months, the other is planning to go to Iran for a visit in October. They are good people, artists from old European families. Creative, thoughtful mice, and I would so much rather they stayed at home in Italy with their music and pictures, safe from that harm we all fear might fall on Iran or Palestine.
I would like to write about them, but I don't want to bring attention to them in case it were unfriendly. And some of us are more transparent than others.

Is there really the most beautiful source of power out there
in the undulating and expanding sunburst of psyche?

Truth itself is illuminating. Understanding is liberating.
That bee sting in my mouth still hurts from time to time, just a little. It always reminds me of what I might be.

Littleoldme it's not us who worry me, its the misinformation agents and other sneaky types. I want to join dots to help us well-intentioned people find each other and gain moral support. I try to hide from my enemies and I am hiding from my friends.

But the coffee. The coffee. The coffee is Sainsbury's French style coffee with chicory. It is 45% chicory with strong ground coffee, and the effect is sublime.
Truly it causes deep breaths of a mellow variety, and smiles, and sighs. I make it in a percolator, so it bubbles up like a little volcano on the stove, inviting me with that French cafe smell from childhood. I add cold milk brought by my nice milkman and two spoonfuls of sugar. Sometimes I gulp the whole cup at once amid cries of joy coming up for air. This is a coffee that is kind and expansive, no jarring. I've been drinking it for years.

With budget so tight at the top of my list is this good coffee and also good smoothies (Innocent), good wholemeal bread, freerange eggs, English butter, and freerange English bacon, my first for two months. Mushrooms. Don't forget the mushrooms. Cheese? Rather partial to Isle of Bute cheddar. It has that fantastic saltiness of Scottish cheddar, and is particularly satisfying I find in the nature of the exploding crystals that occur when you press the cheese against the roof of your mouth with your tongue. Extraordinary, I shall have a piece now just to prove it to you, and help me stay up later. Its after three in the morning here and I still haven't told you about that meeting.

But I have removed the link to here from my website, leaving the other new link in place from, oh shall I tell you? truthforum.co.uk
where there are some others who care for the freedoms and joys of the vast multitude of ordinary people.

What am I afraid of? I know that the web we create is part of a new fabric that can support us through this and we have to keep it open one way or another.
I'm afraid of spreading disinformation, I don't want to be a gullible fool because I don't want to cause any damage to the cause of human survival.

[BO]

Those truthforum folk are bound to think we're all members of the church of Beaver Cleaver.

Love the descriptions of your local cuisine and the pleasure you derive from it. You're a fantastic writer, Mouse.

Thanks for reminding us that it's the simple pleasures that give life meaning.

[Mouse]

Ah, but did I mention that the sugar in the coffee is demerara sugar, it makes such a difference, it's rich.

The truthforum people might have the same trouble I had to begin with, there's a funny thing that happens to us over here if you mention Nazis. I suppose it springs from that backs against the wall business in WW2, you just start to laugh and can't stop.

Yesterday I broke my rule not to go to public meetings. Didn't give myself time to think. Horribly frightening sometimes lately, keep on bursting into full flood with strangers, telling them about 9.11, Bilderberg etc. Afraid of being described as a public nuisance, disturber of the peace, spreader of sedition. You could say I had slipped into a psychosis, the things I think are going on, so without you lot there would be no hope for me. Which is why I want to tell these little stories that I'm so afraid to tell in case people get cross with me and take steps. We are all so vulnerable. I have found out many times in life that the smallest thing can upset the whole, as the smallest thing can mend everything.

My friend had fallen off the bicycle and hurt her knee, we bought a strip of fabric plaster and cut some off, put it on top of aloe vera and it's healed already today. Afterwards we bought nuts and our favourite sweets at the healthfood shop where we found a notice on the counter about a public meeting about transition towns and peak oil It also said £5.00 entry fee, which struck me as rather odd. Wouldn't be able to go if I had to pay that. Seemed like an unnecessary irrelevence to me.

I was late of course, crossed the bypass where Billy died, on my bike in the dark, sang some of the way, going to a place with plenty of wrecks of encounters stacked up. Once more unto the breach, this was going to be fine. Always late. Found the right room eventually, dark; people watching film about peak oil projected from a laptop computer onto a screen. Told lady at table by door "Can't pay" and walked to the back to watch. It was fairly tame I think, had trouble hearing and seeing it. I'd brought the wrong glasses and probably the wrong ears.

I remember it got a bit more realistic towards the end, mentioning the dangers of social collapse and all, and I was thinking there must be several well-informed people in the room, surely. Then the lights came up and soon a young fellow was facing me where I stood saying clearly and loudly "You said you can't pay."
"Yes, I can't pay"
"Why can't you pay?"
"Because I haven't got any money."
"Why haven't you got any money?"
"Because I'm poor."
"Like me." he said.
"Perhaps." I said, but thought not, trying not to get into a fight. All very loud though, most impolite of him, upset me, a few words about the place spilled out and I noticed an elderly man nearby folding in upon himself, hunched up, tried to smooth things out but he hunched further and I seemed to be so unwelcome to him and the other. Most disconcerting.
What a disaster, so wanted to leave. All the useful ideas I wanted to share... put a sock in it again as they say, button your lip, but I didn't when he asked whether people wanted to talk about what they'd seen or watch the next film. I said the situation was so grave I thought we should talk about it whilst we were there, together. So he put the next film on, about Cuba and all the financially poor people there making one heck of a brilliant job of it. You could tell that they talked to each other, they danced, they sang.
Then the lights were up again and there was a form to fill in at the back. That was it. I don't get on with forms at all. They disgust me.
I said I have a very important message, do you mind if I pass it on before people leave. He said that he would rather I didn't, this was his event. So I didn't start shouting at the receding backs. A woman with a very intelligent face was curious to hear my message, so I wrote a couple of things down and told her a little bit

[Mouse]

about some of the things not mentioned in the films.

It took a while for me to realise that these must be the same people who I had already failed to communicate with regarding the growing of vegetables.

Plenty of time to think on the way home, cycling uphill and getting off to push in several steep places. It didn't really make sense. Nothing seems to in that building.
Just doesn't make sense. Unless we socially undesirables are already out of the equation. It's happened so much. You go to give your contribution and it's not wanted because there's an entrance fee. Or they tell you there's an outreach programme and I just throw up my metaphorical hands full of stars and wonder.

[littleoldme]

"Unless we socially undesirables are already out of the equation."

Actually I think the so called "UNdesireables", in other words the working folk and the poor, will be the only ones to survive what's coming. Most have dealt with adversity in one manner or another all their lives. Whereas those who have had others take care of them all their lives won't have a clue. The "care takers" will be too busy taking care of their own to expend the energy to rescue the entitled.